Christians, especially ministers, so often think they must always contribute something when they are in the company of others, that this is the one service they have to render. They forget that listening can be a greater service than speaking.
- Dietrich Bonhoeffer, Life Together
In my Christian journey, I have very often found that the ability to listen to someone else is an essential part of ministry. It could occur virtually anywhere - such as over a meal, while waiting, during a long train ride - and is hardly confined within the four walls of the church.
In Dietrich Bonhoeffer's book, Life Together, he discusses some essential ministries in a Christian community. One of these is the ministry of listening:
The first service that one owes to others in the fellowship consists in listening to them. Just as to love God begins with listening to His Word, so the beginning of love for the brethren is learning to listen to them. It is God's love for us that He not only gives us His Word but also lends us His ear. So it is His work that we do for our brother when we learn to listen to him. Christians, especially ministers, so often think they must always contribute something when they are in the company of others, that this is the one service they have to render. They forget that listening can be a greater service than speaking.
Further, Bonhoeffer warns of "a kind of listening with half an ear that presumes already to know what the other person has to say":
It is an impatient, inattentive listening, that despises the brother and is only waiting for a chance to speak and thus get rid of the other person. This is no fulfillment of our obligation, and it is certain that here too our attitude toward our brother only reflects our relationship to God.
I, for one, could not agree more.
I remember the frustration I felt when I was simply trying to have a conversation with a pastor. I was telling him about something I had spoken about in another church. It was just a simple sharing, without more. Nevertheless, he weighed in, almost out of a particular perceived obligation, with his opinion on what I had told him about, speaking at length about church doctrine and tradition on that particular topic.
Again, on another occasion with another pastor, I shared in a group on social media an article which I had written. What followed was an unsolicited comment from the pastor, who was quick to jump in and go the whole nine yards with his views on the topic, even though this caused the discussion to go off on a rather meaningless tangent.
Had I been seeking pastoral help, I would have been thoroughly put off by how the pastors had behaved.
In ministry, the ability to listen is sometimes more valuable than the ability to speak. Some of the most meaningful and powerful of ministry which I have offered or which I have received have involved extended periods of listening, coupled with only a few pieces of short prophetic words spoken right into one's soul.
Even in the midst of profound disagreement, whether in the context of heated debates on controversial issues or more civil discussions, listening has on many occasions shown itself to be more important than speaking and making one's point. As the Apostle James writes, "Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry" (James 1:19).
Bonhoeffer concludes by emphasising that "the ministry of listening has been committed to [Christians] by Him who is Himself the great listener and whose work they should share". He writes:
We should listen with the ears of God that we may speak the Word of God.
