In a busy and well-connected country like Singapore, there is a constant temptation for parents to be caught up with work and other activities, while leaving children in the care of schools, tuition centres or even domestic helpers. Some parents choose to occupy their children with television or video games.
Is this correct? Who bears primary responsibility in children's education?
Biblical principles on parental responsibility
Most Christians should be familiar with the principles of spiritual multiplication found in the Great Commission, where Jesus commanded:
Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptising them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you. And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age. (Matthew 28:19-20)
However, physical multiplication is God-ordained too. It is both a blessing and a command, given at the very beginning when God blessed the man and woman in the Garden of Eden, "Be fruitful and multiply" (Genesis 1:28).
Parents therefore have both
physical and
spiritual roles to fulfil in the lives of their children. Parents should be actively involved in providing for the physical and spiritual needs of children. This is why the Bible places such great emphasis on the role of parents in children's education.
When Moses addressed the Israelites as they were about to enter the Promised Land, he instructed them:
Hear, O Israel: The Lord our God, the Lord is one. Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength. These commandments that I give you today are to be upon your hearts. Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. Tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads. Write them on the doorframes of your houses and on your gates. (Deuteronomy 6:4-9)
Likewise, various passages in Proverbs highlight that the duty to instruct children rests on both fathers and mothers:
Listen, my son, to your father’s instruction
and do not forsake your mother’s teaching.
(Proverbs 1:8)
My son, keep your father’s commands
and do not forsake your mother’s teaching.
(Proverbs 6:20)
The same can be found in the New Testament, where Paul instructed:
Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord. (Ephesians 6:4)
While there may be some debate about whether Paul's exhortation meant
both fathers and mothers, or fathers only, it is clear from the passages above that parents bear primary responsibility in their children's education. That responsibility does not rest on the government or society. Nevertheless, parents can delegate that responsibility if they choose to do so, just as they can withdraw that responsibility where necessary.
Application of principles to sexuality education
How do these Biblical principles apply in practice?
Here, we shall see how it applies in the context of sexuality education.
Parents bear primary responsibility in their children's education. This includes sensitive topics such as sexuality. Therefore, the Ministry of Education was in line with Biblical principles when it declared in a
statement in 2009 that it sought to
complement parents, who have the ultimate responsibility:
Parents are ultimately responsible for inculcating values in their children. MOE’s sexuality education programme aims to complement parents’ role in helping students make informed, responsible and values-based decisions regarding sexuality.
Since parents, as primary care-givers, are responsible for the health and moral values of their children, parents have have the right to
opt their children out of a school's sexuality education programme, talks and workshops if they disagree with the values being taught.
Likewise, Focus on the Family wrote in a letter to the TODAY paper, "Abstinence education can work" (21 August 2013):
Parents
should always be the primary communicators with their children about
sexuality, imparting values and the family’s religious positions. No
effective programme can operate without the support of parents.
Schools should want parental involvement and do everything in their power to cooperate with parents in sexuality education.
Contrast the views of the Association of Women for Action
and Research (AWARE) in a letter to TODAY titled, "Young minds
and bodies: Is ignorance bliss?" (13 August 2013), which criticises the alleged "delegation" of sex education to parents:
The
Education Ministry places an onus on parents to educate their children
about sex, but it was reported last year that a Health Promotion Board
poll, covering 1,169 Singapore households, found that less than half of
parents had broached such topics with their teenage children.
To delegate sex education to parents would thus be inadequate.
AWARE's philosophy represents an inversion of the original loci
of rights and responsibilities. AWARE presupposes a state-centric idea
which places primary responsibility for education of children on the
State rather than on parents, by assuming that the government is the one
which bears the original "onus" to teach children about sex, and which
"delegates" that responsibility to parents...
The State exists for the individual, family, community and society; not the other way around. The role of the State is to support mediating institutions like the family, community and society, rather than to usurp them...
The State has no right to impose ideas on children which fundamentally
contradict those held by their family, community or society as a whole.
Conclusion
The Bible teaches that parents bear primary responsibility in their children's education, not the government, and not society. God has ordained us to multiply both physically and spiritually, and therefore parents have both
physical and
spiritual roles
to fulfil in the lives of their children.
Parents should always strive to be actively involved in their children's lives. Initiatives in Singapore like Dads for Life and events like Date with Dad, organised by Focus on the Family, are good initiatives to encourage parents to connect with their children. We should give such initiatives our fullest support.